Unlocking Self-Love after 40
Since starting this healing journey back in 2020, I've seen so many ways to implement self-care in order to obtain a better and balanced life.
While the idea is solid and very well needed some of the information floating the waves wasn't as resonating for me as I hoped. From skin care routines to movie binges, it all seemed superficial and surface-level.
Self-love is more than a skincare routine
Don't get me wrong I love a good exfoliant and some Game of Thrones but none of that helped me unlock the cork that was wedged in my inner being. Something was missing in fulfilling my healing journey. Something downright nurturing and uplifting.
Ways to Cultivate Self-Love
My life up until I began looking in the mirror was internally and sometimes externally chaotic. It was filled with self-defeating thoughts, depressive episodes, and panic attacks. I was holding on to things and connections that weren't nurturing and only mimicked my internal smog. I was drowning and suffocating in a vat of gloom that I continued to endure because for one, I didn't know better, and two, I thought it was the best thing for me.
With each waking day, it felt harder to breathe and even harder to maintain a life that did not reflect my colorful soul. I felt off and desired to escape.
Fast forwarding to my initial venture of this spiritual journey I scoured the internet looking for ways to help with healing. Some fruitful and some only band-aid my internal concerns. This is when I paused and looked within.
I asked some hard-core questions which led me to a more enriching way of healing and providing self-love. However, it definitely wasn't pretty. I tapped into a different pool of self-love energy and boy did it force a cleanse.
Self Reflection
Self-reflection was the number one thing that has helped me find inner peace and a better sense of self-love for myself.
This required asking those tough questions we sometimes like to avoid. I had to be honest with the version of me reflecting in the mirror. My shortcomings, past participation, and choices had to be viewed with compassion, observation, and vulnerability. This helped me to discover what parts I needed to nurture and revamp.
Honesty
One of the main things that keeps me on track with loving myself is having the audacity and vulnerability to be completely honest. Being honest with my wants, needs, and desires, has given me the drive to pursue goals and accomplish more of the things that fulfill me.
Honesty has also weeded out those that are not truly for me. Expressing what I will not tolerate respectfully helps to uncover those who are not on the same growth path as I. Sure it hurts like hell but I feel a sense of relief and have made room for those who have been more supportive and nurturing, while also leaving space for new connections.
Ebb and Flow Connections
Engaging in flowing connections has been the highlight of this journey and the most invigorating. Finding those souls who want to be better and actually do better is a breath of fresh air and a test of stretching. It has a yin and yang effect.
The people I have met along this journey have not only been supportive but they asked questions and challenged me to expand my roots which have ultimately uncovered hidden fruits of myself.
We don't undermine or try to keep each other boxed in but nudge one another in loving and fun ways. I never thought I could find such beautiful and colorful connections.
While the facial scrubs, mani-pedis, and spa days are an added bonus to self-love and self-care, I've found that loving oneself is more than a coat of polish. It is the deep reflections, honest heart, and flowing connections that bring out the best versions of who we are which in turn adds the true pop of color to self-love.
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Until next time readers, take life one loving day at a time.
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