I'm not sure how to explain this intense feeling I've been having lately, but here goes. Dreams of men and feeling safe have been at the forefront of this energetic surge. The dreams are vivid and powerful, almost as if one part of me lives within them.
Each touch feels like a genuine experience of reality, unlike the one I encounter when awake. But why? Am I lonely, or is there something else I desire?
Safety is the recurring theme in both these dreams and my reality, yet it hasn't been a part of my life for quite some time. I'm hesitant to admit it, but I'm desperate for it.
The dreams of men symbolize the masculine ability to provide safety and security, which interestingly has also been the focal point of my card pulls this week (healing the divine masculine). I yearn to discover that sense of safety and security for myself, but there are moments when I feel defeated. This struggle has persisted even in my relationships, as I strive to find a way to secure myself without relying on my partner.
Is it wrong that I want to be self-sufficient? No, but the recurring pattern of men coming to my "rescue," even during this phase of re-sorting my life, frustrates me. It doesn't feel right, as if there's always an underlying expectation of sacrifice. But why?
It's because I have yet to feel truly safe. I have yet to experience a sense of safety in the presence of a man without any strings attached. I have yet to feel safe entirely on my own terms. And dear readers, this may be the focus of my healing journey this week.
To be continued...
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