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Writer's pictureS.Nicole

Am I Bored or Am I Still Finding My Way?

The tug of war between sticking with House of AASH or entertaining something else.




Left or right, up or down, in or out? This is where we sometimes dwell when making a decision. It's the this or that effect and go to of life.


Lately, I have been trying my damnedest to fight the urge to move in a different direction because I have a knack for scarping ideas that I start leaving a trail of unfinished projects. It looks messy, indecisive, and lacks direction. At least that's what my toggling brain keeps telling me. It's also a whisper that we've all heard in one way or another, "Why are you all over the place, stick to one thing."


Don't you think I want to?


To be honest, the societal interruptions do have a tendency to rear its ugly head sometimes even with countless attempts of healing--it comes with the territory. However, I still have an ultimate goal for my life and the desire to obtain that will never waiver.


House of AASH, the baby that brought life to my writing and a drive to my heart


The idea for House of AASH came about almost a year ago and building it has been exciting and fun. While I have yet to gain traction, it has, however, given me the opportunity to delve further into creativity while stretching my comfort zone. It's a start toward my lifelong dream as an entrepreneur while building something that represents me and caters to the community.


Unfortunately here lately I've been feeling like I'm forced to keep up with the premise of the page. Don't get me wrong I have content spilling out the spout but I find myself wondering if it's still worth it. Maybe my desire to see more traction is what's prompting this feeling or maybe this is simply another stepping stone toward another life lesson or level.


I love being the face of the "Authentic Ability to Soar and Heal", and I love the many petals of words that have encapsulated its walls. The idea of identifying one's emotional design, knowing oneself, and being brave enough to take action toward a taboo belief has been amazing! Was it all worth it? Absofuckinglutely!! I would never deny that!


House of AASH is a piece of who I am and who I've struggled to become for so long but I will be honest I keep feeling this call to embark on something else.


Is it in conjunction with AASH or does this mean the end of a beautiful rose that brought beauty and light to me and so many of its readers?


We shall see. Until next time Dwellers!



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