As I got out of bed this morning, preparing to utilize my Sunday to brainstorm, dabble, and implement ways to gain better footing--as I do on a daily basis--, something told me to pause.
"But, I can't," I protested. However, I couldn't help but remain still for a few moments. Well, it would have been longer, but my bladder was screaming, so that took precedence. Listen, this middle-aged urine unit is temperamental!
Anyway, I sat with that ping after my bathroom run to pause and reflect. "What happened last week? How did I feel? Am I OK?" Yes, I am definitely an overthinker, but sometimes it's valuable, so on days like today, I put it to good use, constructively.
Last week was a mix of drive, confidence, defeat, sadness, and self-conviction. Blame it on the ample amount of planets in retrograde if you like, but focusing on what was and how I felt, it was trying. Don't get me wrong; I got a lot done regarding House of AASH, taking steps towards bettering my situation and other personal endeavors, but sometimes reality hits you like a two-ton truck.
It's not always easy to maneuver through the hard times, and as I was told to pause today, it was a realization that while I did my best last week, at this moment, I need to reflect and concentrate on my wellness. I need some tender loving care from me! And with that line, I can't help but find myself in a stream of tears: "I want to breathe!"
Sometimes I feel like if I "pause," another trap door will open plummeting me further away from bliss, comfort, and joy.
Today's moment of pause screams, "Take care of you, before you run out of you to be." Meaning, it's time to breathe, it's time to cry, it's time to rest, and it's time to release.
I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted, and even though the pressure to "do something" is there, in order for me to be fully present, I have to practice what I preach and implement my knowledge and wherewithal of emotional wellness.
So today, I will feel, I will probably cry, I will rest, and I will release. What does that look like? Watching a few episodes of Gilmore Girls, making a frappuccino, listening to a romance novel, taking a nap, utilizing breathing techniques, drawing, sitting by the pool (pending it's not too hot), indulging in my craft, and taking each moment as it comes without controlling its direction or setting a time. Then once I'm ready, I'll answer the three questions posed: What happened last week? How do I feel? Am I OK?
Self-reflection is a subdivision of self-care, and with that, we find answers to help us to grow forward.
Until next time, readers, self-reflect, implement self-love, and continue to take it one moment at a time.
With Love,
Shereese
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